"No farewell words were spoken, No time to say Goodbye,
You were gone before we knew it, And only God knows why" -anonymous
Today I had my second HCG Beta blood work drawn. The Dr. called back and said my numbers are decreasing, it was a 5. She said I should expect to start bleeding in the next day or two. I started cramping and spotting lightly tonight. Another chemical pregnancy, I don't know how I should feel. Why does this keep happening to me? I know its only my second chemical pregnancy, but I thought this time would be different. I found this fact on one of the medical websites "Chemical pregnancies are unfortunately very common. 50 to 60% of first pregnancies end in miscarriage very early in pregnancy."
Knowing that, and after experiencing two, I wonder if I should even try again. The Dr. asked me what I wanted to do, I told her I'm not sure, and I would get back to her after I have my first day of heavy bleeding. I'm debating on waiting a cycle, to make sure all the hormones and such get back to normal, but at the same time I feel as if waiting will only make me depressed and I might decide not to go ahead with the next cycle. I have very limited tries before we either PCS to another duty station or EAS completely and lose infertility health coverage. On one hand, If i try again and end up pregnant to only lose again, I will be completely devestated, but if I give up, and then lose health coverage I don't know when I'll be able to try again. Decisions, Decisions! I cried earlier, but now I am numb, I don't know what to do.
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