Taking A Break

I decided to sit out this cycle. Two reasons for this decision, 1) I want to make sure everything is back to normal before trying again, I know it was an early loss, and waiting isn't usually needed, but if I did go ahead with this cycle and have another chemical, I would wonder if maybe waiting would of changed things and 2) Dh and I had planned on taking a trip to Vegas at the end of July for our 7 year anniversary, and the dates we are gone would have coincided with the dates of my Follicle Scans, which I wouldn't be able to miss. So I am going to try and get my  health back on track, and enjoy Vegas, and then its back to the merry go round of injections and 2wws.

It's Over

"No farewell words were spoken, No time to say Goodbye,
You were gone before we knew it, And only God knows why" -anonymous

Today I had my second HCG Beta blood work drawn. The Dr. called back and said my numbers are decreasing, it was a 5. She said I should expect to start bleeding in the next day or two. I started cramping and spotting lightly tonight. Another chemical pregnancy, I don't know how I should feel. Why does this keep happening to me? I know its only my second chemical pregnancy, but I thought this time would be different. I found this fact on one of the medical websites "Chemical pregnancies are unfortunately very common. 50 to 60% of first pregnancies end in miscarriage very early in pregnancy."

Knowing that, and after experiencing two, I wonder if I should  even try again. The Dr. asked me what I wanted to do, I told her I'm not sure, and I would get back to her after I have my first day of heavy bleeding. I'm debating on waiting a cycle, to make sure all the hormones and such get back to normal, but at the same time I feel as if waiting will only make me depressed and I might decide not to go ahead with the next cycle. I have very limited tries before we either PCS to another duty station or EAS completely and lose infertility health coverage. On one hand, If i try again and end up pregnant to only lose again, I will be completely devestated, but if I give up, and then lose health coverage I don't know when I'll be able to try again. Decisions, Decisions! I cried earlier, but now I am numb, I don't know what to do.

Beta HCG Blood test Today

The 2ww is finally over. I took a couple of target brand tests the other day and both came up with light lines. I went in today to get my blood drawn to check my Hcg levels. Dr called back not that long ago, it was positive, but the bad news is that the level is very low at 7. Normal Hcg levels should be between 48- 150 at 14DPO. She told me not to get my hopes up, that I most likely will miscarry, but she also said that it could be too early and my levels aren't high enough yet. I have a bad feeling about this. I go back in on Thursday to get my HCG levels rechecked. Stick lil one, Stick!!!